deformography

I really cant stand the state of my body, my legs are the worst followed by my hips, bum and arms, my stomach is not too bad, i cant believe iv got like this, i really felt ok a few months ago, how i dont know

my mum is coming tomorrow, but she is bringing my auntie who i barely talk to, i dont know why, i wanted to see her, now how am i supposed to talk to her??? this is so unfair i was really looking forward to this now i dont want her to come,� i dont want to see anyone. My body really cant get smaler quick enough, ive done my workout vid once today, worried if i do too much will strain muscles, already have a bit of pain in my back. Oh god, why am i so unfit? why am i so fat? why am i so depressed? why am i not at work? why do i have no money? why do i not want to see any of my freinds? why am i so lonely? WHY cant i dissapear???

i just want to hide until i am thin and beautiful, i need to get back to work, and do workout vid before work and hour power walk at lunch time, and walk from n.harrow st.

this diary has turned into a bloody moan about my fucking fat,�

o god, please, put me in a coma?

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